The incazzatura, this bitch who occasionally comes to visit me and disturbs my days, returned a few days. Comes slowly, and is positioned just above my shoulders, perched and quiet. And there's no way to put her away. Who knows why.
My back pain is more acute every day, are formally invalid. And while I run. I run because the house is a mess, because Victor is also working this weekend and time to help me has not really. I turn because I have my family far away and I would not dream, for the world, to ask my mother-in-law a hand to clean, not because she is not good or whatever, but just because it has a lot of trouble and hunting, and despite its this is already a great deal for us, is truly a saint, and if I can avoid some hassle, I'll avoid it.
I run because Victor, in a desperate attempt to calm myself, I says, but you rest at home I'll see. And I do not think there ever since, as is logical that, when it is away from 5 am to 5 pm and returned tired and hungry, the last thing that has the power to do is clean the bathroom or sweeping the floor . And I run because basically I can not just be in a messy house with a bath and that is not cleaned for a week, so I know that eventually I will do everything and I end up like yesterday, stiff on the couch without being able to move .
But above all, above all, I run because it can not usually eat sweets and chocolate makes me feel all day in a state of trance mixed with abstinence, especially because every single day I think of someone who eats sweets, chocolate or ice cream. And my willpower falters. I'm sure if I could eat a paninozzo with nutella, after all I would see with other eyes and I'd be more optimistic. Today are so boring, I know. But it's not my fault, it is the incazzatura who decided to visit me yesterday and still does not decide to leave me alone. And I tried everything: positive thinking relax, watch a funny movie, concentrating on the child and how much I love him, and even sex. But it did not do anything, I pretty much this expression on his face:
Even Victor, before leaving when he came to see me told me not make it true? It is normal that you're so angry, it should be easy not to do anything and can not eat anything I want. But do not worry, just missing the birth. The
that made me feel too guilty, in short, that he got to do? I might do a little effort to be a bit 'more sociable, but I withdraw into a bunker atoms without sweets and the like and stress-free. It will be the hormones? Ahaha
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